This is a blog about relationships...just warning you now. I had a lot of feelings and had been thinking about these things for a few weeks now and I really just wanted to write it down.
People come and go in your life for a reason. You do not really realize this until you are in a spot in your life where you are truly happy and realize that everything does happen for a reason. I remember when I was in 7th grade I entered a relationship with a boy and I just thought that this was it. I had found the person I was going to be with for the rest of my life. When he left my life I truly thought the world was going to end. Then a few months later someone else came into my life and I felt the same about him (I am not trying to down play my feelings for the guys I have been with in my life because I was with you guys for a reason and you are all great in your own little way and I loved all of each of you in a different way) and then sure enough someone else would come along and I would think "Oh Alexis, this is it. He is the one." When I think back on this...these feelings, I can see how I would feel that way. You fall in love with a lot of people. What I did not realize is that you can fall out of love just as quickly as you can fall in love. This is because you grow up. When you are younger obviously you are doing most of your growing up. Relationships happen and things are going great and then you both grow up and then grow apart. It happens.
The last few months of my life have been insane to say the least. I recently ended an almost 4 year relationship because of what I had mentioned before, we grew up...and grew apart.
I have read it in books. I have heard it on the TV. I have heard my mother talk about how she felt when she met my father for the first time. After hearing all these things I feel like I searched too hard to have that exact same thing. I lost hope in finding that love.
That is when it happens. When you least expect it. You finally let go of everything and someone comes into your life and makes you realize that it is possible.
This guy came into my life and kind of an inconvenient time. He is in the Marine Corps. I was in school and had a complicated life. Even though he came at the time he did, that did not bother him. I think he knew that life was kinda messed up for me, but he was still there for me. Actually, he said something to me when I thought my life was over and made me rethink everything in my life. He probably does not know this but what he said to me changed my life forever. He made me feel like I was not alone. He stepped up to the plate when he did not have to and was there for me. No one has ever made me feel like that before. When I found out he was leaving to live in Japan for two years I tried to block him from my life as much as I could because I knew the feelings I felt for him, and I did not want to be more hurt than I already was. Well, it was not until he was there that I realized I did not care that he was there and I was here. I did not want to not have him in my life. That was an eye opener for me. I realized that I truly have never felt this kind of emotion before, and I don't ever want it to go away.
I am happy that all my past relationships have failed because it has brought me to where I am today, and has been a part of who I am today. Those past relationships bring you to the person you are really supposed to be with.
Everything happens for a reason, and I have never been so happy about that in my life!
Just take life one spoonful at a time and it will eventually lead you to what you have been looking for your whole life. :)
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